Hemlock Grove S:2 E:4 Bloody Fluids

Last Time on Hemlock Grove: Olivia killed Normans ex-wife. Peter fucked Miranda. Roman is still pissed at Price - but I could write that in every recap. Author/werewolf girl from the first season breaks out of her grave and Shelly killed her. Read all about it HERE.

This Time on Hemlock Grove: Pre-credit sequence shows stereotypical teenage late night back of the pick up make out session leads to some peeing and discovery of author girl/werewolf girls dead body. The post-credit sequence gives us the police investigation into the bodies discovery. They quickly determine that it was Shelley who did the killing. Absent for the investigation? Sheriff Chausser. He's too busy trying to track down the whereabouts of Normans ex. He interviews Olivia, and Norman, but decides that's too hard, so he starts tracking Roman.

Conveniently, he spots Roman emerging from an alley after just murdering a homeless dude and
essentially paying off a bunch of other homeless dudes to let him escape. Roman had gotten pretty damn twitchy about the whole raw meat/blood thing, so it was good too see him kill something. Plus it helped that the guy he killed was the most stereotypical homeless guy I've ever seen, it felt like I was watching a skit from Chapelles show. The guy was one line away from shouting "I'm homeless. Bitch!"

Speaking of homeless, Miranda returned home to find Roman creepily waiting for her and filled with a shit load of questions about who she fucked the night before. Peter, the guy she fucked the night before, spent his post-coital time researching those little planes that pull banners from his dream. He had quite the list too. Who knew western Pa. had so many planes capable of a dead form of advertising?

His research is interrupted by the two drug dealer guys looking for their cash back. Of course Peter doesn't have it, and even though there are two of them, and they have a baseball bat, one punch to the face and a pack of frozen peas is enough to send them running like frightened school girls. Back at their apartment, which has shitty furniture, but a pretty kick ass television their pig farmer/main drug dealer boss guy is waiting. He forces them to strip naked and destroys one of their testicles. That certainly won't stop them from running like pussies again in the future.

Meanwhile, Petey has discovered the one place in western Pa. that might be in his visions. He drives 75 miles out of his way and gets there, conveniently just in time to save the little boy from the bad dudes in the Purge masks. He gets all crazy and threatens the boys mother, who alerts the authorities, who then calls Sheriff Chausser who picks up Peter. Which makes sense because there wasn't a dead girls body found strewn in pieces in the woods the night before, the main suspect isn't the daughter of the most powerful woman in the town who was thought to be dead, and also a missing woman to investigate. So Pete goes to jail becasue, well, convenient show priorities.

Back at Romans place, Mirandas nipples start to lactate, so if that's your fetish...here you go. After stealing the code form the old nurse lady she busts into the babies room. Roman comes home and finds her in the room breast feeding the (enormous) baby. End episode.

Elsewhere: Shelley gave the little boy who is taking care of her a piece of her finger. He was elated and took it home with him....Norman has an inkling regarding what happened to his ex-wife. He already has an investigator looking for Shelley, he puts her on the new case as well....Dr. Price has changed the experimentation of whatever he is growing int he basement sub-level....Godfrey Industries has a Human Resources department(!), and they are pissed at Roman.

Reaction: Again heavy on the shock value for shock values sake shit, but that's par for the course for Hemlock Grove. We really didn't need to see Madeline Brewers breasts actually lactating. Gratuitous - yes. Necessary - no. The other maddening thing is how the show is using Sheriff Chausser. Yes, he has a Godfrey obsession, but he's also the sheriff. Shouldn't he be sheriffing? Wouldn't his fellow cops say something to someone about his lack of departmental dedication? He should at least be trying try to control the homeless folks harassing people outside of restaurants.

You would think, logically that, had author chicks mutilated corpse been found in the woods with Shelley as the prime suspect, that Peter would take a passing interest. Roman is the very definition of ineffectual, but Peter is as emo as the sun is hot, so you would think he'd give a shit. Apparently, there are too many Purge masks in his mind to read a damn paper. And when does this guy work? He has enough free time to take a company vehicle 75 miles out of town on personal business. He's only worked there for like a month. That takes balls. Then again, they have taken 3 weeks to fix Mirandas car, so it's not like Peter works for Midas.

Not the worst episode of the show. It did enough to advance the narrative to a point where I don't dread watching the next episode. But it still feels like a show written by 15 year old boys (Ooo boobies and cum jokes...how clever) or by older people for 15 year old boys. I don't see that changing in the near future though.

That's it for me. As always, thanks for reading and "enjoy every sandwich."

1 comment:

  1. I jumped ahead........I was so bored watching season one,I had to read your reviews of season two.I'm sad to see this is your last entry;no one is reviewing individual episodes and I wanted to see your take on the Shelley actress switch.Maybe you did mention it,I only glanced at the first three episodes.I guess it's too late to start again,but I found your reviews essential reading because I often fall asleep or space out during this series.Having to watch each episode over and over.I started watch Sons of Anarchy in between Hemlock Grove.What a difference!Easy to watch,easy to understand,not easy to fall asleep or space out.Oh well,back to season one.........