Hemlock Grove S:2 E:3 Luna Rea

Last Time in Hemlock Grove: It's been a while, so lets take a look...Miranda becomes the latest blonde chick for Roman and Peter to fight over. Speaking of hot blonde chicks they fought over, Norman is suing the institute over Lethas death. Pete and Roman share Purge-mask dreams and Dr. Price steps up the passive aggressiveness towards Roman. Read all bout it HERE.

This Time on Hemlock Grove: Roman and Peter begin working on rebuilding their bromance after Peter apologizes for "abandoning" Roman at the end of last season. Sadly Roman doesn't show him the lock of Peters hair he fished out of the sink at the end of last season that he carries around in his pocket. Wait until Peter tells Roman that he fucked Miranda. That should go over well.

Speaking of Miranda and her terrible nose ring, after some confusion regarding Peters all too creepy
love for his mother, she decides it would be best for both of them if they had sex (Peter and Miranda, not Peter and his mother - thank god). She cries afterwards, probably because Peter doesn't look like a very "giving" lover if you know what I mean. She then ruins any sort of special moment by talking about her ex and making Peter talk about dead Letha. Hey, did you know Letha is dead? Well if you didn't it's going to come up 35 more times during the 45 minute episode.

It comes up when Norman and his ex talk about Letha and the lawsuit regarding her death. It comes up when Peter fucks Miranda. It comes up when Roman threatens Dr. Price over signing Lethas babies death certificate. It comes up when the ex-Mrs. Norman tries to forgive Olivia for stealing her man, and again when we see that Olivia has killed her and stuffed her in the bath tub. Needless to say it comes up A LOT.

Roman meanwhile, is still trying to figure out what the fuck Dr. Price has going on in the basement. He tries to get all Inspector Clouseau on Price, but fails pretty miserably when he loses him in the hallway. It was  a pretty weak detective effort. They have a board room confrontation in which Roman calls Dr. Prices Russian assistant "Miss Chernobyl." This made me smile. Dr. Price reaches out to the catholic priest guy who Chausser was working for last season. Apparently the Catholic Churches "Order of the Dragon" has decided that they want a piece of Godfrey industries. I guess they want to start growing their own underage boys.Ones that know when to keep their mouths shut.

Catholic Priest guy showed up earlier to chastise Chaussers brother (remember him?) for not killing Roman. Mr. Chausser says there is no evidence that Roman killed his sister. Logic? In Hemlock Grove? Never. Well it won't last long because it turns out that Michael Chausser is the new sheriff in town - literally. Now I HAVE to call bullshit on this. Sheriff is an elected position. You can't just float in, stand on some rock, look longingly across a river and become sheriff. We learn that our new Sheriff stays in his office all day with the door locked. Again bullshit. A real Sheriff would never be able to get away with that shit. Welcome to Hemlock Grove where convenient plot devices exist to cover up lazy writing.

Lazy writing abounds in this episode. Case in point - Shelley is still alive - which we know from last season when bald Peter sees her along the side of the road. Except this season, Shelley is about a foot shorter, apparently a gymnast in training, and has no bullet holes in her chest. But that's not the lazy part, recasting happens. The lazy part happens when we meet Shelley as she runs from a wolf - but it's not just any wolf. It's the undead wolf corpse of the novelist girl from last season. Which makes absolutely no sense. So is the wolf a zombie? Do all dead werewolves dig their way out of their graves at their convenience? Or only when a writer decides they have no other way to reintroduce Shelley? She kills the wolf and rips it's head off. She has been living in the basement of a foreclosed house for a while. The next door neighbor boy has bee supplying her with food and beer apparently. He has a gimpy toe and a conveniently terribly inattentive mother, so they bond over their lots in life.

Reaction: A lazy episode this time. While not falling back into a lot of the stereotypical tropes of last season, this episode just felt convenient. Too convenient to make any real logical sense. Why was author girl able to transform into a wolf after she was dead? And if it's because she wasn't "disposed of" correctly, why isn't that something that Peter or Destiny or one of the other wolfish people care about? The Sheriff thing makes about as much sense. First, Chaussers brother is the Sheriff some how. Then he never leaves his office (except to visit Mister Catholic Priest guy) because it's nothing but a road map of the Godfreys in Hemlock Grove - even though he's convinced Roman didn't kill his sister. It's all too convenient, and very, very, lazy.

That's it for me this time. As always - thanks for reading and "Enjoy every sandwich."

Episode 4 HERE!

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