Hemlock Grove S:1 E:10 "What God Wants"

Last Time On Hemlock Grove : Roman slept like a baby, so we were forced to spend time with the other unsavory characters, namely Chausser and her magic refilling bottle of Jack Daniels. There was some unnecessary faux lesbianism, some parental doobage (again unecessary) and some naked man ass. Plot, um no...but did I mention the faux lesbianism?

This Time On Hemlock Grove : Roman wakes up. He's groggy, but otherwise fine after being in a coma for the last couple of weeks. Luckily Peter is there to comfort him through his post Carbonite freezing reintroduction to reality. They kiss and make up and decide to get the band back together to track down the werewolf. They better get a hurry on too, there is a full moon tonight! I take a two minute nap through the OPENING CREDIT SEQUENCE!

Sheriff Pasty White Guy decides the full moon and two murders is enough to put the whole entire town on lock down. He calls up some reservists, some firemen, even some of those little green army men he finds at the dollar store I think. Chausser, still in full on "woe is me pity mode" questions his authority. He tells her to shut the fuck up and get back to the swamps. For her part she still isn't sure about Peter being the wolf and wants out of the the brotherhood of the traveling lesbians. Father Phone It In convinces her to stay, but not until after she calls her "brother" and tells him to pick her up.

Gene and Paul manage to escape the police dragnet and make it to the old mill. One would think that since there was a body already discovered there the cops would have that place blanketed. One would be wrong. For plot purposes, they are alone. Peter gives several minutes of stern warnings to his newly reawakened friend. For his part, Roman promises to obey and not be such a dick to anyone anymore. So no more rapings? What a guy. Peter changes, we don't see it this time, but Chausser is there to shoot him full of tranquilizers. Roman protests but when challenged, backs down like a pussy and runs off. Priest Phone It In instructs her to bring the thing in alive. Chausser is just about ready to rope and tag her catch when Olivia shows up. She's not happy with the way her son was treated by out least favorite Fish and Wildlife officer. Chausser points her gun and a shot rings out, but we don't get to see the end result. Maybe next time.

Meanwhile the Sheriff decides that, despite placing the entire town under strict curfew because there could be a hungry werewolf on the prowl, the best place to be is not the police station, but at home in his kitchen. Upstairs the twins try to start some shit on Facebook. No takers, so they decide to have a two person dance party. Outside, a bike falls down. Sheriff Retard decides that even though there may be a werewolf waiting to kill everyone, fixing the bike should be the number one priority. Meanwhile wolfie thinks two is better than one and heads upstairs to munch on some twin magic. It's probably becasue he hates shitty dance music. I'm siding with the wolf on that one. Luckily the Sheriff was home so we can see all the drawn out grief shots.

The next day Norman confesses he prayed someone elses kid gets eaten. His wife says that's o.k. since he's a terrible person anyway. Post script sees two kids walking through the woods on their way to, I can only assume, school and find all Chaussers photographs and her truck which has clearly seen better days.

Luckily there are only three episodes left. Hopefully there are some satisfying conclusions. I'm hoping but not too confident. Until next time - "Enjoy every sandwich."

Keep Reading - Episode 11!

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