Hemlock Grove S:1 E:4 "In Poor Taste"

Last Time On Hemlock Grove : Author girl found a body, some beautiful people mugged for the camera, I almost fell asleep. Read all about it here.

This Time On Hemlock Grove : Letha has  sex dream on the school bus about Peter. It's a fairly tame sex dream, at least compared to the ones I've encountered. That leads to the ...Opening Credit Sequence. I still can't place the music. Fear Itself...or maybe Masters Of Horror...I'll explore in more depth next time.

Novelist Girl is in a pretty fucked up place. She's talking in her sleep, screaming. It's just not good. The twins, with whom she's now staying (which is a good idea since her parents just let her wander around the woods), decide that in celebration of her being fucked up they are going to, well get fucked up. They have some warm champagne and something the call "Slutty Mix 2013." All of this would be awesome - if these girls weren't 14! Novelist girl confesses to the twins she thought it all was  a prank and that she kissed the corpse.

Meanwhile, the Roman/Peter bromance continues to bloom, much to the dismay of Romans mother. Peter tells Roman that becasue it's pretty apparent that a werewolf killed the chick last episode and there are certain things that need to be done to her to prevent some, well, ugliness from ensuing. Minor issue thought as the girl has already been buried. Time for some "Graverobbin' USA"! Peter and Roman swap funeral stories. It's actually done very well.

But Peter and Roman aren't the only with designs on digging up the body. Fish and Game Investigator Chasseur gets all hot and bothered when some dog poop is discovered in the woods. She finds a human hair in the feces. She drags the sheriff to the bar to get him drunk and inform him that the autopsy was fucked up. But no ones seen the autopsy. Something he conveniently forgets. So no hair was taken during the autopsy - meaning they need to dig up the body to get the sample.

Peter and Roman finish their dead body dealings just in time to escape being discovered. Sheriff Dopey manages to fall into the grave and right on the corpse. Chasseur doesn't really care though she gets the sample despite the Sheriffs buffoonery. Once analyzed the hair in the poop comes back not as female hair but as male hair. End Episode.

This episode has a lot of issues. Stupid, maddening issues. Things like : when Peter opens up the corpse blood drains out. There would be no blood in the corpse. Even if the autopsy was fucked up, most of the blood would have drained out in the woods. Also they dig a way too perfect hole to get to the body. Digging a hole like that would take two grown men at least 4 or 5 hours. Shelly types very fast with her pencil. It's not that what she has to type isn't good or important, but her pencil typing skills are just too unbelievable.

That being said, this is the best episode of the show so far. Peter and Roman actually look like friends rather than some sort of  unrequited gay lovers (not that there is anything wrong with being gay, and hell if they were gay lovers that would be fine, but story wise, they friends thing works better...whew ass covered). There is a great graveyard Night Of the Living Dead reference. Roman confesses that  Shelly was once dead? One line does more to advance her story than any amount of pencil typing could.

I'm wondering if this show is like Star Trek films. The even ones are pretty good while the odd one's not so much. that being said, I love me some Search for Spock. The show really benefits when it's Roman and Peter driving the story. All the other subplots feel ancillary, tacked on. They take away from the one interesting thing that Hemlock Grove has going on.

As always - thanks for reading. Enjoy every sandwich.

Keep Reading - Episode 5!


  1. "All of this would be awesome- if the girls weren't 14!"Gosh,I hate to think what you think of my friends and what we did at 14.(Growing up in San Francisco in the 60's does have it's advantages.Not to mention had I grown up during the Quaalude revolution.)That being said....the only thing I'm going to comment on this episode (during one of the times I paused and Googled Hemlock Grove)I found that the Shelley character was recast.Nicole Biovin doesn't seem to know why she was fired or if she does,she's not talking.On her Twitter account she's retweeted every tweet that's complimentary of her portrayal of Shelley.Many people have disliked the recasting and I'm sure Nicole is one of them.Seeing this is her first and only acting role,her dismissal isn't going to do her resume any good.I asked her why she was let go;the world wanted to know.If I find out,I'll let you know in a future comment.Don't hold your breath,I doubt she'll say anything.

  2. Doug,

    Thanks for all your comments. You are right. They did replace Shelley for season two. I guess they wanted more of an "actress" as her part of the story is a little bigger. It's a shame becasue I think "old Shelley" is actually better...but you can read all about that as I slog through season two.