Odds & Ends : Zombieland, Scream 3 and Gremlins Reboot Bullshit

For those not in the the know the original script for Zombieland was for it to be a television series not a motion picture. But it's Hollywood so things change. Now it seems that, despite some lukewarm sequel talks, the tale seems destined to continue on the small screen. Here's the catch though...Amazons Instant Service, Amazon Prime, is looking to make a Zombieland show one of the cornerstones of their original programming. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that a Zombieland TV series is a tremendous idea. But Amazon Prime? Fuck, between Netflix, Hulu Plus, HBO Go and now Amazon Prime this pay for programming thing is slowly turning into a fucking mess. Are we really expected to have three or more instant streaming services? Perhaps. Maybe we should look at it like premium cable. HBO, Showtime and Cinemax for a digital age. Then again I'm not paying 80 bucks a year for one fucking show.

Scream scribe (alliteration!) Kevin Williamson talked a little about his original thoughts regarding Scream 3. His original plan for the three-quel (coined!) was much more in line with his recent television offering, the Kevin Bacon fronted The Following. Stated Williamson In my original story for Scream 3, the killers were basically a fan club of Woodsboro kids that had formed because of Stab 1 and Stab 2. They were all doing the killings and the big surprise of the movie was when Sidney walked into the house after Ghostface had killed everyone … and they all rose up. None of them were actually dead and they’d planned the whole thing.” Williamson carried a bit of that over to Scream 4  but feels The Following is the realization of that entire idea. Sounds pretty cool and goes to show that even if an idea doesn't work for one project, you never know when it can fit somewhere else. That being said how was The Following? Is it worth my time? I love me some Bacon, his wife looks like some sort of animal, I'm not sure what, but who am I to judge. Anyway, after investing myself in that idiocy that was  The River last year, I'm a bit hesitant to tether my horse to another network horror series.

Last but certainly not least I guess I'll address this Gremlins reboot bullshit. I didn't even read any of the articles or give credence to the speculation, in fact the thought of a fucking reboot makes me want to get all stabby on people. Now, let me clarify, I'm not against a third Gremlins film. One that brings back Zack Galligan, Pheobe Cates, Corey Feldman, hell, even the ghost of Hoyt Axton. That would be awesome. Billy and Kate are married with kids and the old Chinese guy shows up with Gizmo or something. Maybe the smokeless ashtray gave him cancer, who knows. But that would be a great idea. HOWEVER, any sort of re-boot, re-imagining, re-anything, I don't care if the Ghost of Hoyt Axton himself (what? I already used that line?...Fuck it. Seth MacFarlanes a damn billionaire and he only has what, three jokes?) comes down from heaven with a script from God. It better not fucking happen. I don't often advocate violence (that's not true I advocate massive amounts of  destruction every time I am reminded that Katy Perry is banging John Mayer) but this...this may send me over the edge. There are certain films you don not touch. Gremlins, Ghostbusters and Goonies (or as they are known in the Mister Joshua household, the holy trinity) are the pinnacle of that list and should not be fucked with. End of story.

That's it for the Odds & Ends...until next time...don't die

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